[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
sunday, december 12th - “petty little thieves”
i used to be a shoplifter. not entirely proud of this fact but whatever. we are all friends here. i never got caught. for years. i began to think of myself as something of an expert. i had lush and ridiculous fantasies likening myself to that leonardo dicaprio character who is so good at forging checks that he begrudgingly helps the fbi catch other forgers. that dream was dashed when i got caught at barnes and noble stealing a, yes, bertand russell book. i spent the night in jail and the cop told me i was bringing shame upon my alma mater. i don’t shoplift anymore.
